Friday, August 08, 2014

The Story of My Breastfeeding Journey


Wanted to write about my breastfeeding journey for the longest time but the lazy bugs in me has always been on the winning side.

In conjunction of the World Breastfeeding Week, I would like to share a little bit of the story of my breastfeeding journey. I promise, this is a short version of it.:p


Clayton's milk drunk look

Breastfeeding isn't an alien term to those who are married with kids. It may sound odd to you, if you're still single, like how it used to be to me, as I never came across this word before.


Nurse lying down with Clayton

When I first gotten pregnant with Clayton in 2010, many things were new to me, apart from feeling like the luckiest & happiest woman on earth, I had to study, yeah, study to become a mother. You never thought right?


Another milk drunk's face, simply love it.

I started reading parenting books, started surfing online parenting & baby forums, to understand & know what to expect when I was expecting, & also what to expect after birth, I can tell you, these information are of very good help although, in real life, especially with a baby, there are always, & I mean always, full of surprises that are waiting for you, you'll never be well prepared enough.You may not find all the answers you need until you experience it yourselves, as every single child is individually unique.


Extra breastmilk that were donated to other babies who needed them

So I came acrossed breastfeeding, I read a lot about it, spent most of my pregnancy time reading about how to breastfeed. From online parenting forums, to books, to attending talks, I thought to myself, I was determined to make this breastfeeding worked, how hard could it be right? I was so well prepared!


Luxury milk bath!

Then came the day I had to undergo an emergency cesarean & had my first precious baby delivered. I was unconscious for a few hours after the delivery, when I finally woke up, I didn't even know my son has already greeted the world.


Breastfeeding while we had our groceries done at the supermarket

After I was wheeled back to the ward, I couldn't wait to hold my baby in my arms. I held his tiny weeny body close to mine & I felt his warm, I couldn't help dropping happy tears down my face. For the first time in my life, I knew there's someone else that I will always put ahead of me! That's my baby! We had our first intimate touch, & I breastfed him, it was such a wonderful moment.


Breastfeeding while babywearing

But, nobody has told me how difficult it was going to be. What were the pressures & stressful nights that were waiting to test my limit, challenge my patient, & how hard it was that everyone was trying to make me quit breastfeeding. Yes, everyone around me was trying hard to persuade me to not breastfeed him, because I had no milk, because baby was crying due to hunger, because he was starved under my stubbornness, everyone but my hubby, who has given full supports of my decision to breastfeed. Everyone but him.

It was more than enough. At that point of time, his supports meant everything to me. 

So, I persevered. & it wasn't long till I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Well, of course there are more to come after the milk kicked in, because that sweet little angel would perform all kinds of stunts when they nurse, & they bite!


Breastfeeding into toddler-hood

The first few days were difficult, without a day gone by I wondered if I have made the wrong decision, whether I was doing the wrong thing insisted that I wanted him to be fully breastfed, to be fed with one & only mummy's precious milk.

Yes, it wasn't easy, it was very tough indeed, when everyone was questioning your milk supply & baby always seemed to be in hunger, the excitement of a new mother & all those postnatal hormones altogether, I was overwhelmed, I cried every single time I latched him, I feared to hear him cried worried that it was me who was starving my son, feared to listen to the negative remarks again & again, & I could only cried secretly in the room, & pretended that I was strong enough to handle the whole situation when everyone was judging me! It wasn't easy. 

Not at all!!


Photographing & nursing simultaneously

Thanks to parenting forums, thanks to breastfeeding books, thanks to my friends who have given me the encouragement & assurance, thanks to hubby who's given me the best mental supports where I needed the most, my milk has finally kicked in on Day 5.

Clayton helped mummy to check if the breast-pump was working properly, in preparation of Ashton's arrival

I cried! When I first saw that my milk dripped down like an opened tab! Tears of joy rolled down my face. 

I wanted to shout out loud!

I have milk!!! 


KL Flash Mob 2012 @ KLCC
  
And even so, I was still asked to stop breastfeeding him every now & then, although milk supply was no longer an issue, I even had surplus where I could donate them to those babies who were in need of breastmilk but unfortunately their mummies were unable to produce. I have had about 5 milk babies where they took my breastmilk. Sadly I was unable to supply more after I quit my job & became a SAHM when Clayton turned 6 month old, because at the same time I have also stopped pumping.

Our second prince, Ashton, the face after a satisfying feed

Weaning Clayton off the breasts was never on my mind, I wanted to breastfeed him for as long as he wanted to. 

We were blessed with baby no 2 when Clayton turned 15 month-old, I had irritable nursing aversion & I screamed in tears every time he latched on, he had no sign of weaning, I didn't want to put a stop to breastfeeding him but with a heavy heart, I had to slowly wean him off, & at 21 month-old, he was finally weaned off completely, when I was 5 months pregnant.

So in love with the newborn's milk drunk's face.

Few months later, we welcomed our second prince, Ashton, to the family.

1 day-old Ashton was a pro latcher!

Honestly, it was so much easier to breastfeed again second time around, because you knew what to expect, you knew how to breastfeed, you knew so sure that you have milk, & you knew no words can bring down your confidence, & you knew your baby is definitely well fed. 

I had a good meal, now I need a good sleep - the exact same face like his elder brother
   
Although I had a 4 months breastfeeding break in between, I was blessed with breastmilk from the moment I delivered. Again, it was another emergency cesarean, what different was, it hurt so much more this time. I was in so much pain even painkiller couldn't help. Even a slight move would make me teared. 

But it didn't stop me from nursing Ashton. Nothing could!!!


The intimacy & bonding we long for

Although it was easier to breastfeed again, but this child didn't give me a smooth sailing breastfeeding journey either. We faced other difficulties.

It was the peak of haze when Ashton was delivered, poor baby suffered from stuffy & nose blocked, he struggled so hard to breath & nurse at the same time. Often, he fell asleep before he was fully fed & woke up crying shortly after because he was still hungry. It was also difficult for him to nurse well with the nose being blocked, he always fuss & struggle when I nursed him, he cried, he screamed, he shouted, & he pushed me away, it was like a wrestling with my baby everytime we nurse. 

This cycle continued for quite a period of time.


Clayton find it gross to relatch or to drink mummy's milk, so mummy secretly mixed some freshly pumped breastmilk into his fresh milk

While Clayton refused to re-latch, I pumped some milk & mixed into fresh milk for him for whenever he was at home. He was hospitalized for a week at the hospital then because of bacteria infection, breastmilk would help strengthen his immune system & I could only do that much for him.


I too get to enjoy luxury breastmilk bath just like kor kor.

Both boys suffered from reflux & vomited quite a lot of milk from as young as few days old. Clayton outgrown it at 2.5 month-old, it was less fortunate for Ashton as the condition didn't seem to get better at all. We visited a few pediatrician & have tests done to rule out the possibilities of any health conditions. It wasn't easy nursing a baby that was constantly struggling, scream, & cry over your breasts, & after he's finally done latching he would vomit, yes I used the word vomit instead of spitting.

Gratefully, Ashton too outgrown the reflux, at 6 month-old. 


Gift of Love Charity Bazaar organized by The Breastfeeding Advocates Network, we broke the Guinness Malaysia Book of Record to breastfeed simultaneously together with the other 455 pairs of mummies & babies

 Now, Ashton is 14 month-old & is still very much a boob addict, there's no signs of weaning nor there's plan for me to quit either. 

I'm grateful that I was determined enough to start right right from the very beginning, & I'm very thankful for all the supports that I've gotten around me, without all of these supports I may not be able to fully breastfeed my boys. 

Time flies, little Ashton is already 1.

Breastmilk is the best milk, I'm happy that I'm able to give the best first gift to my babies. Thank you to the father of my children, for you to never once doubted the decision for me to breastfeed.

Babies, mummy love you, forever, & ever.



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Thanks for stopping by. Lemme know what you think! Have an awesome day!

Friday, August 08, 2014

The Story of My Breastfeeding Journey

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Wanted to write about my breastfeeding journey for the longest time but the lazy bugs in me has always been on the winning side.

In conjunction of the World Breastfeeding Week, I would like to share a little bit of the story of my breastfeeding journey. I promise, this is a short version of it.:p


Clayton's milk drunk look

Breastfeeding isn't an alien term to those who are married with kids. It may sound odd to you, if you're still single, like how it used to be to me, as I never came across this word before.


Nurse lying down with Clayton

When I first gotten pregnant with Clayton in 2010, many things were new to me, apart from feeling like the luckiest & happiest woman on earth, I had to study, yeah, study to become a mother. You never thought right?


Another milk drunk's face, simply love it.

I started reading parenting books, started surfing online parenting & baby forums, to understand & know what to expect when I was expecting, & also what to expect after birth, I can tell you, these information are of very good help although, in real life, especially with a baby, there are always, & I mean always, full of surprises that are waiting for you, you'll never be well prepared enough.You may not find all the answers you need until you experience it yourselves, as every single child is individually unique.


Extra breastmilk that were donated to other babies who needed them

So I came acrossed breastfeeding, I read a lot about it, spent most of my pregnancy time reading about how to breastfeed. From online parenting forums, to books, to attending talks, I thought to myself, I was determined to make this breastfeeding worked, how hard could it be right? I was so well prepared!


Luxury milk bath!

Then came the day I had to undergo an emergency cesarean & had my first precious baby delivered. I was unconscious for a few hours after the delivery, when I finally woke up, I didn't even know my son has already greeted the world.


Breastfeeding while we had our groceries done at the supermarket

After I was wheeled back to the ward, I couldn't wait to hold my baby in my arms. I held his tiny weeny body close to mine & I felt his warm, I couldn't help dropping happy tears down my face. For the first time in my life, I knew there's someone else that I will always put ahead of me! That's my baby! We had our first intimate touch, & I breastfed him, it was such a wonderful moment.


Breastfeeding while babywearing

But, nobody has told me how difficult it was going to be. What were the pressures & stressful nights that were waiting to test my limit, challenge my patient, & how hard it was that everyone was trying to make me quit breastfeeding. Yes, everyone around me was trying hard to persuade me to not breastfeed him, because I had no milk, because baby was crying due to hunger, because he was starved under my stubbornness, everyone but my hubby, who has given full supports of my decision to breastfeed. Everyone but him.

It was more than enough. At that point of time, his supports meant everything to me. 

So, I persevered. & it wasn't long till I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Well, of course there are more to come after the milk kicked in, because that sweet little angel would perform all kinds of stunts when they nurse, & they bite!


Breastfeeding into toddler-hood

The first few days were difficult, without a day gone by I wondered if I have made the wrong decision, whether I was doing the wrong thing insisted that I wanted him to be fully breastfed, to be fed with one & only mummy's precious milk.

Yes, it wasn't easy, it was very tough indeed, when everyone was questioning your milk supply & baby always seemed to be in hunger, the excitement of a new mother & all those postnatal hormones altogether, I was overwhelmed, I cried every single time I latched him, I feared to hear him cried worried that it was me who was starving my son, feared to listen to the negative remarks again & again, & I could only cried secretly in the room, & pretended that I was strong enough to handle the whole situation when everyone was judging me! It wasn't easy. 

Not at all!!


Photographing & nursing simultaneously

Thanks to parenting forums, thanks to breastfeeding books, thanks to my friends who have given me the encouragement & assurance, thanks to hubby who's given me the best mental supports where I needed the most, my milk has finally kicked in on Day 5.

Clayton helped mummy to check if the breast-pump was working properly, in preparation of Ashton's arrival

I cried! When I first saw that my milk dripped down like an opened tab! Tears of joy rolled down my face. 

I wanted to shout out loud!

I have milk!!! 


KL Flash Mob 2012 @ KLCC
  
And even so, I was still asked to stop breastfeeding him every now & then, although milk supply was no longer an issue, I even had surplus where I could donate them to those babies who were in need of breastmilk but unfortunately their mummies were unable to produce. I have had about 5 milk babies where they took my breastmilk. Sadly I was unable to supply more after I quit my job & became a SAHM when Clayton turned 6 month old, because at the same time I have also stopped pumping.

Our second prince, Ashton, the face after a satisfying feed

Weaning Clayton off the breasts was never on my mind, I wanted to breastfeed him for as long as he wanted to. 

We were blessed with baby no 2 when Clayton turned 15 month-old, I had irritable nursing aversion & I screamed in tears every time he latched on, he had no sign of weaning, I didn't want to put a stop to breastfeeding him but with a heavy heart, I had to slowly wean him off, & at 21 month-old, he was finally weaned off completely, when I was 5 months pregnant.

So in love with the newborn's milk drunk's face.

Few months later, we welcomed our second prince, Ashton, to the family.

1 day-old Ashton was a pro latcher!

Honestly, it was so much easier to breastfeed again second time around, because you knew what to expect, you knew how to breastfeed, you knew so sure that you have milk, & you knew no words can bring down your confidence, & you knew your baby is definitely well fed. 

I had a good meal, now I need a good sleep - the exact same face like his elder brother
   
Although I had a 4 months breastfeeding break in between, I was blessed with breastmilk from the moment I delivered. Again, it was another emergency cesarean, what different was, it hurt so much more this time. I was in so much pain even painkiller couldn't help. Even a slight move would make me teared. 

But it didn't stop me from nursing Ashton. Nothing could!!!


The intimacy & bonding we long for

Although it was easier to breastfeed again, but this child didn't give me a smooth sailing breastfeeding journey either. We faced other difficulties.

It was the peak of haze when Ashton was delivered, poor baby suffered from stuffy & nose blocked, he struggled so hard to breath & nurse at the same time. Often, he fell asleep before he was fully fed & woke up crying shortly after because he was still hungry. It was also difficult for him to nurse well with the nose being blocked, he always fuss & struggle when I nursed him, he cried, he screamed, he shouted, & he pushed me away, it was like a wrestling with my baby everytime we nurse. 

This cycle continued for quite a period of time.


Clayton find it gross to relatch or to drink mummy's milk, so mummy secretly mixed some freshly pumped breastmilk into his fresh milk

While Clayton refused to re-latch, I pumped some milk & mixed into fresh milk for him for whenever he was at home. He was hospitalized for a week at the hospital then because of bacteria infection, breastmilk would help strengthen his immune system & I could only do that much for him.


I too get to enjoy luxury breastmilk bath just like kor kor.

Both boys suffered from reflux & vomited quite a lot of milk from as young as few days old. Clayton outgrown it at 2.5 month-old, it was less fortunate for Ashton as the condition didn't seem to get better at all. We visited a few pediatrician & have tests done to rule out the possibilities of any health conditions. It wasn't easy nursing a baby that was constantly struggling, scream, & cry over your breasts, & after he's finally done latching he would vomit, yes I used the word vomit instead of spitting.

Gratefully, Ashton too outgrown the reflux, at 6 month-old. 


Gift of Love Charity Bazaar organized by The Breastfeeding Advocates Network, we broke the Guinness Malaysia Book of Record to breastfeed simultaneously together with the other 455 pairs of mummies & babies

 Now, Ashton is 14 month-old & is still very much a boob addict, there's no signs of weaning nor there's plan for me to quit either. 

I'm grateful that I was determined enough to start right right from the very beginning, & I'm very thankful for all the supports that I've gotten around me, without all of these supports I may not be able to fully breastfeed my boys. 

Time flies, little Ashton is already 1.

Breastmilk is the best milk, I'm happy that I'm able to give the best first gift to my babies. Thank you to the father of my children, for you to never once doubted the decision for me to breastfeed.

Babies, mummy love you, forever, & ever.



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